ADMIRAL ZUMWALT ABDUCTED BY WANNABE TERRORISTS
It is a very unsafe world out there. Buildings are being blown up. Attacks made on people from all walks of life; in the name of rabid political ideals. And now Zumwalt has been taken. While standing in his own front yard watching the birds fly in to eat at the bird-feeder. Squirrels come right up to him to feed on the corn that is left out for them. Zumwalt is always out there. At his age he really has little else to occupy his time. But it never crossed anyone’s mind that he would ever be abducted by rough people, committing rough acts of violence against such a peaceful individual.
In his later years it has been noticed Zumwalt is rather heavy in stature and there is no doubt that it took more than one desperate violator of both criminal law and the laws of human decencies to remove Zumwalt from his own front yard. There is no way he would leave the safety of his home under his own power. These purveyors of heart breaking human drama had to impose the strength of multiple conspirators to remove this descent individual. I was concerned when I discovered he was missing, that Zumwalt would not go lightly and be hurt during the actual abduction and forced removal. Where do the seeds of these random acts of violence toward the innocent gestate from? Is it from the mind of a petty street criminal or worst yet from the mind of an educated and trained sophisticated professional who unbeknownst to you lives in your very own neighborhood? Is there no place safe to retreat to, to defend and protect your home and family members?
Zumwalt or Zummie to our family was missing. The Security Forces “cops” were called and responded promptly. In fact within minutes there were three patrol cars in the front of my house. There was no talk of an Amber-Alert being declared but there were strong feelings of concern on the part of the “cops” as they took statements and photographs. With the increase in security on Altus Air Force Base, Oklahoma the odds that Zumwalt was taken by Muslims fundamentalist-terrorists was rather slim. Besides Zumwalt is a pig and I would be surprised if they would try to take him at gun point. Now he is not your regular kind of pig, Zumwalt is a concrete pig. He has been with our family for three military moves. The day I bought him and brought him home to Columbus Air Force Base, Mississippi there was a History Channel special on TV about; Admiral Elmo Zumwalt, the former Chief of Naval Operations. The name Zumwalt stuck in my head and that’s how my concrete pig was respectfully named after the most important person in the Navy. Zumwalt has a concrete pig cousin that spent some time with Zummie in our front yard at Kirtland Air Force Base in Albuquerque, New Mexico. That pig is actually a SOW-Special Operations Wing pig and now stands guard duty over ”Rescue Rock,” a memorial to a fallen Air Force HH-60 rescue helicopter pilot who died in Afghanistan on a humanitarian mission. The pilot was a former Girl Scout and the memorial is at 8000 feet up in the mountains outside of Albuquerque at a Girl Scout summer camp.
Pigs are important to veterans. Zumwalt came to our home because I am from Iowa, which has a large hog industry. When I found him missing I was worried I would never see him again. But Praise the Lord and the efforts of the Security Forces “cops” Zumwalt was found unharmed and quickly returned to our family. It is hard to imagine what goes through the minds of people when they start out to cross that line from right to wrong. And why anyone would pick on a small concrete pig is a mystery. Zumwalt is home and safe but a bit shaken up. I will be contacting the American Society of Concrete Workers to see if there is any counseling available for Zumwalt to help meet his emotional needs at a difficult time like this. As for you fiendish men from the sky, the concern about unlawful carnal knowledge with an underage minor concrete pig appears to be unfounded. The sad thing is he is now chained down for his own protection, kind of like an old dog staked out in the back yard that nobody really cares about. Life can be hard for a concrete pig in this unsafe world we live in. I will sign him up for the conceal-carry weapons class shortly. God did not make all pigs equal--Colonel Colt did. Aim High-Aim Straight Oink-Oink
5 Feb 2005
Major Van Harl USAF Ret.